Thinkin' Too Much

I wish my brain had an on/off switch,
So I could just rest it once in a while.
Each cortex moves independently,
Lacking any uniform shape of unity.

Hidden meanings are found in everything,
Because I often view face value as a lie.
Nothing is ever as it seems,
Or is that just thinking too much again?

My emotions can't keep up with the pace of my brain,
Flashbulb-thoughts like a flip book create my world.
I possess an extraordinary power, but cannot control it.
If only this intensity could be focused on one thing.

My poor quality of always wanting to know,
And devastating trait of being in control doom me.
One might say that failure to accept life as is,
Is nothing short of living a lie.

I anger so easily at the smallest things,
Sinful inspiration that I do not deserve.
But I will never carry out these heinous fantasies,
Because deep down I lack the courage and resolve.

I can hate enormously, but love in an equal amount,
In a way I don't choose how to use them, others do.
I can be happy or sad, up or down,
But that depends on the actions of others.

No one can ever have full control over their emotions,
So long as they keep in contact with others.
We are at the mercy of people around us every day,
An incredibly scary thought considering the existence of some people.

Brain is overheating, and sleeping doesn't cool it down,
Like an autistic child who senses too much sensory information at once.
I know Death will finally give my mind some rest and peace,
But I want to live and love, I don't want to die, I don't want to die.

I don't want to die,
But I'm ready to.