My Soapbox

The synapses in your brain fail to connect. You are mentally bariccaded from a reality that you cannot comprehend. Stuck behind a glass wall that you can't feel. You don't know what your choices are. Trapped inside a self-built cage of doubt and regret. You can sense the presence around you, starting to envelop you. You accept it, because you know fighting is useless. You join together symbiotically, becoming one, for one is all, and all is one.

Your pulse quickens. Your instinct takes over coordinating your movements. Your control is now a set of random variables acting out upon their own will. What will happen next is equivalent to throwing a thousand separate dice on a table and guessing the number of their cumulative quantities. You become ensnared in your own passion, and allow the true person to show. Breaking the shell that you set up throughout the day, to portray a figure that you wish existed. This is your time to shine. This is your time to become a self-proclaimed God.

Perhaps just mental jargon is mentioned here. Perhaps just left over scraps from the depths of a mind that has thought a little too much. These are the things which get filtered in every day conversation. Your brain tells you not to mention them, because they are not appropriate for the situation. You hold back discussing them because you are afraid what will happen if you do. But within your own realm and existence it is perfectly fine. Within these confines, with this company, it is perfectly okay to resemble your tantalizing desires.

It very well could be none of this makes sense. It could also be that it wasn't meant to. It could be that it was meant only to make sense to a particular group of people, or no one at all. The answer will change with person to person, because life is subjective. You love it, hate it, or a combination of the both depending on how long it has been since you had something to enjoy. People fool themselves in to thinking their lives have meaning by enjoying themselves without regard of the consequences.

This is because animals live to survive. Humans live to survive. If a meteor were to ominously approach our Earth, scientists would find a way to destroy it before it got here. That would be prolonging the human existence. Dinosaurs and other organisms before us could not do this, and thus became extinct. What will exterminate humans? Maybe ourselves, maybe a meteor. Perhaps aliens. But none of it really matters to us, because we will be dead and gone by then, and in the arms of Jesus, under the faithful eye of Buddha, and in the living souls of all things reincarnated.

Eventually I will have to stop this rambling, because my mind will continue to think and analyze to the end of infinity if I do not manually stop the neurons from firing away like children. It would be wondrous to see what would happen if I could turn my brain on full power. There's a man who can remember up to 40,000 digits in a string and recite them perfectly. Imagine the other possibilities. The greatest computers humans can make may not come close to comparing to the human brain, but we will never know. Once again, though, it doesn't really matter. Everything on this planet happens in a cycle circle. Humans are hypocrites who do evil deeds in the name of righteousness, and who kill to stop killing.

Anyone can claim they are a good person. People preach about it all the time. And to judge people is to be judgmental, which a lot of people hate. At a wedding I once went to the preacher was smoking and drinking at the ceremony after-party. This is our messenger of God, basking in his Sin? I wonder if a preacher can confess to himself in the booth. That would require cloning, though. And cloning is science, and only God was meant to create according to the Church. Oh, what irony!

The only meaning your life holds is the meaning you give to it. No one can tell you the meaning of life, or what you are here for. There isn't a reason humans exist, other than to survive. We can claim we are here to love people, and to care for one another, and bring each other up. We can claim that we are here to be happy to the fullest, and to enjoy everything that is presented to us in the fullest. All we ever really do is survive, though. Martin Luther King helped the black race to survive by pushing civil rights. Some may call it morality and common good among people. Others may call it striving to make conditions ideal for a race to prosper. But they are still killing themselves in city streets, and I still hear the racial slurs.

My soapbox has become covered with moss growing from the ground because I've been going on and on so long. Before this terrestrial invader has a chance to start breeding on my leg, I am going to step off, and allow all of this nonsensical data to find a lodging inside your short term memory. Most of it won't stick, and when you attempt to recall it you will most likely be unable to. That makes this entire post meaningless in a way. It is just something I am doing to pass the time during my existence, because it helps to keep me a little more sane. It helps me to survive a little bit more easily.