Excuses

My mind is an expert at coming up with reasons "Not to".
My heart has mastered the art of following it blindly.
One day motivation encourages me to see the unknown.
The next day my uncertainty convinces me against it.

I have become the best person for making excuses.
Excuses that I now allow to run much of my life.
False excuses are nothing more than deception of Self.
Creating a false image to me, but an absurdly true one to others.

One can only make so many excuses before they learn,
That in the end it isn't worth living by making lies.
The perceieved truth can convince people they know,
When in actuality their ignorance is conveyed in their excuse.

For every reason "Why not to" there is a reason "Why to",
But to the person who makes excuses, only one exists.
They twist the "Why to" to become "Why not to",
Thus stabbing themselves in to perpetual blindness.

However, is not doing what you want to be rewarded?
Or am I simply blind to what my own truth is?
Can not even I tell what decisions I should make,
And the ever-changing context in which I make them?

I am an expert at making excuses.
I can deceive myself in to thinking I'm happy.
But if I become so good at this art,
Then how will I know the difference?