I know very well my place in life. I am to breathe air from the trees for approximately seventy to eighty years, perhaps shorter - unlikely longer - and then die. The actions in between may lead to the betterment of others or my surroundings, or they may not. Years after my death my time spent here will have been insignificant to the current events of the world. With time, any conventions will disappear. There is no reason I am alive. There is no purpose I have been given. I can give myself goals, and attempt to define the meaning of my existence, but ultimately that is my own self-actualization at work. In truth, from birth to death, there is no reason for me to live, other than to live. Some call this ultimate freedom. Realization of mortal boundaries. Others call it blasphemy, and condemn me to flames of hell. Yet when one realizes there is neither a reason to live, nor a purpose to life, something occurs. They tend to treasure their time all the more, seeking out to identify parts of themselves that up until that point have been left blank. We are all filling in the blanks of our lives, every day. You can choose to be happy or sad, to laugh or cry. You can choose to shelter yourself and quietly live out your insignificant existence of this world. You can make a difference and be immortalized in high school text books. Yet mere remembrance is not a proper measure for life fulfillment. The only person who has the power to ensure your short time of living is at least somewhat meaningful in even the most minuscule of contexts - is you.

I was created for a single island,
a bachelor mansion on a windy knoll,
an eremitic bench -
in a dreary park.

Yet I was not created,
to be alone.
My soul seeks for a partner,
but alas - no more.

No - one is enough -
to satiate desire.
To give what I require,
others are unneeded.

I was created thusly,
for others stir the pot.
Annoying gnats - they fly -
which I am unable to swat.

All I Need

Stand tall and firm,
without a tear or pout.
Be strong in your resolve,
do not regret or doubt.

Look me in the eyes,
not with your head askew.
Gaze deep in to my heart,
where my love is true.

We'll still be together,
underneath the expanding sky.
And all I'll ever ask,
is for a kiss good-bye.

Jumper

I wonder where he went wrong
as his second legs swings
over the guard rail and he jumps.

Perhaps a failed relationship,
or maybe humility at work,
or it could be both.

His worries are washed away
by the wind that streaks
through his jacket that
flaps in the air like wings.

His shoes fly off,
and his pants flutter violently
against his legs,
trying to slow him down.

I wonder where he went wrong,
as his head is forcefully caved in
by the concrete sidewalk.

No one is smart,
no one knows more
than anyone else.
Knowledge and life
are relevant to the person.
There's no right
no wrong,
no justice,
no truths.
They'll fool you
to think money matters.
For you to think
paper equals happiness.

If you want to get drunk
then it's your business
and not mine.
If you want to be loud
and obnoxious
and a complete moron
then go ahead.
If you want to drink
as much as you can
until you can't stand
be my guest.
If you choose to drink
and take a long drive
off of a short cliff,
then it's your business,
and not mine
(though I won't be mourning).

The guys on the other wall are too loud
and I grumble to myself like an old man.
For every bass beat that strikes my wall
and keeps me up another minute longer,
I'd like to strike them with the power
of calmness and intellect that only
a freak like him could possess.

I don't know what the next 10 years have in store for me. I try not to look too far, and live as close to the present day as possible. I've always had emotional trouble when I venture too far in to the past or try and delve too deeply in to the future. I figure the less time I spend thinking about "what ifs" can be applied to the "is"s and "are"s. I've learned that by loving yourself you appear attractive to other people, and they will in turn love you. That loving another person isn't all about giving yourself to them and devoting all you have for them (though it's a part), but taking care of yourself and showing them what it takes to get along in this world. Sure, we all offer each other helping hands every once in a while - that's what life is all about. But learning to stand strongly on your own two feet is perhaps the best thing a person could ever do for themselves. So to live in the present moment, and to love and be true to myself, is a goal I have adopted for the new year, and also for my entry to adulthood (in that I will soon no longer be a teenager). Soon I'll be working - but I don't know where, or what I'll be doing, how much I'll be making, or even whether or not I'll enjoy it. What I do know is that in order to have a successful life I must make whole-hearted and thoughtful decisions in the present. Thinking too far ahead will only limit my ability to make these decisions intricately and carefully.