Hate you forever?
Or forgive you later on,
Dunno what to do...
Or forgive you later on,
Dunno what to do...
I do not understand forgiveness. I don't know when is a right situation to forgive someone, and when it isn't. It differs so incredibly from person-to-person. In fact, I think it is tragic that it differs this much, because it is such an important concept. Some people think that with time you can forgive any person for any deed they have done. Others think that forgiveness is to be given out sparingly and only to those to show that they have atoned for what they have done.
Personally I do not give out forgiveness very easily. Some people would call this a good trait, and some people would call this a bad trait. So which one is it? Am I a good or bad person depending on whose opinion it is? Is there no truth to who I really am? I think if a person has done something wrong then they need to realize that they have done a wrong deed. I do not think forgiveness should be granted if a person does not atone in equal magnitude for whatever crime they have committed. I will not go to the extreme of Hammurabi's Code (eye for an eye), but I believe to an extent the same way.
Forgiveness really gets on my nerves!! It changes with situation to situation, and it is so incredibly "AAAH!" that what you get from one person will change to the next. There's very few absolute forgiveness situations. Little things like a child stealing a cookie can be forgiven. But what if someone murders your entire family? Will you ever forgive that person? Personally, I wouldn't. Some might say, "Oh! That makes you a very shallow person who cannot learn to forgive even the most heinous of acts!". You know what I say to that? "Wait until your family is murdered, pal, then you go up to that guy after however long it takes for you to forgive him, and say 'It's OK'". I don't think anyone is warranted to give advice except a person who has gone through a same or similar situation.
I don't know, it is hard to write about forgiveness because it is so damn elusive. For that reason it really, really gets on my nerves. Does it mean a person is immature if they don't forgive someone? Or does it mean a person is feeble-minded and weak to sticking to values if they always forgive people? Is holding grudges a stupid childish act, or a way to remind yourself that this person has committed an evil deed to you or someone you love, and you will never forget. And if you forgive someone, but don't forget it, and then later on use that information for coercion or what have you, then is that not in essence failing to forgive?
Personally I do not give out forgiveness very easily. Some people would call this a good trait, and some people would call this a bad trait. So which one is it? Am I a good or bad person depending on whose opinion it is? Is there no truth to who I really am? I think if a person has done something wrong then they need to realize that they have done a wrong deed. I do not think forgiveness should be granted if a person does not atone in equal magnitude for whatever crime they have committed. I will not go to the extreme of Hammurabi's Code (eye for an eye), but I believe to an extent the same way.
Forgiveness really gets on my nerves!! It changes with situation to situation, and it is so incredibly "AAAH!" that what you get from one person will change to the next. There's very few absolute forgiveness situations. Little things like a child stealing a cookie can be forgiven. But what if someone murders your entire family? Will you ever forgive that person? Personally, I wouldn't. Some might say, "Oh! That makes you a very shallow person who cannot learn to forgive even the most heinous of acts!". You know what I say to that? "Wait until your family is murdered, pal, then you go up to that guy after however long it takes for you to forgive him, and say 'It's OK'". I don't think anyone is warranted to give advice except a person who has gone through a same or similar situation.
I don't know, it is hard to write about forgiveness because it is so damn elusive. For that reason it really, really gets on my nerves. Does it mean a person is immature if they don't forgive someone? Or does it mean a person is feeble-minded and weak to sticking to values if they always forgive people? Is holding grudges a stupid childish act, or a way to remind yourself that this person has committed an evil deed to you or someone you love, and you will never forget. And if you forgive someone, but don't forget it, and then later on use that information for coercion or what have you, then is that not in essence failing to forgive?
I really don't like,
He who made the word forgive,
What was he thinking?
He who made the word forgive,
What was he thinking?
1 comment:
i have a different definition for forgiveness. here's another way to look at your scenario: mistakes/crimes aren’t okay. if mistakes/crimes were okay we would be talking about acquittals, or condoning the behavior -- not forgiveness. acquittal means the guy didn’t do it. he walks. he’s innocent. condoning means we look the other way or accept the behavior. when we forgive, that’s not the judgment we’re making. we’re not exonerating. we’re just electing to move on. forgiveness turns out to be much more about you than about the one who has hurt you. don't let anyone take away your personal power to be happy. the more you focus on the anger of the event, the more you feed it and it grows. turn your thoughts onto something more productive. that's forgiveness.
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