i told her it was my first real date
and could tell she was shocked
by the look on her face
and how she immediately glanced
down at her phone.

checking the time, maybe?
counting down the minutes?
i wonder if it's over before it started
when she changes the subject.
i'm nice -- i laugh, i smile, i be myself.

she says she has my number
from the dating site and will call me.
something in her voice tips me off,
and i know i'll never see her again
except in painful memories.

i try not to be pathetic, pitiable,
and instead to keep my chin up
and say tomorrow's another day.
if only i haven't been saying that
for the past 10 some-odd years.