Regretful Remembrance

The day of,
Is simply shock.
And the ticking,
Of your clock.*

The day after,
Is pain.
And feelings,
Unexplained.**

After that,
Who knows?
Likely the same,
I suppose.***

Never a day from hence shall pass,
Their name will not cross your breath.
Placed in the far reaches of your heart,
Is lodged the memory of their death.***

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*This is a poem about having someone close to you die. On the day of, you are in shock so you don't really feel sadness too much (atleast I didn't). You are trying to figure out how to go on with your life without this person. You are trying to imagine your life without them being a part of it. Then you wonder when you are going to cry (the ticking of the clock), and have all of your emotions burst out. You question your own mortality and life's worth, and wonder if you've been getting all there is to get out of life. This ticking of your heart (the same as the clock) symbolizes your sorrow and compassion, but also your realization of the importance of living life.

**The day after you will most likely allow the emotions to overwhelm you. This day is pure pain for most. You wake up and likely the first thing to cross your mind will be that you are waking up in a world without that person in it. They are no longer here, and coming to terms with that notion is difficult. You cannot explain exactly how you feel, since there are so many things and emotions being mixed in with one another. You want to move on, but are still held back. You want to remember them, but it causes you pain.

***I don't know what happens after the first day, because that day has yet to come. Yet if I were to guess, I would assume not a day will go by where I don't think of them. Until the very day I die something about the world I live in will remind me of who they were, and how we shared our lives. I "suppose" that these days will also cause my heart to sag with heaviness as I recall how delicate their life was. I regret admitting I cannot let it go, and yet at the same time am glad I will never forget them. This mix of emotions leads me to the assumption that I will always be torn in matters of death. On one side, sad I remember them. On the other, happy they were such an influential person in my life to make me have such strong emotions.