"Hi there, how are you doing?"
Blah.
Why do people always ask this? If the meeting is informal, the answer will always be "I'm doing OK/Alright/Pretty good/Great/Good/etc". And that can be a lie. This is why I don't like small talk.
When you ask me how I'm doing, I can answer in one of two ways:
a.) The socially acceptable and expected response of how I am doing OK/average, or above-average/Good. You'll say the same, and then we'll have some common ground to go off of.
b.) I can tell you the way things really are, perhaps giving you (a stranger) too much information at once, and freaking you out.
I usually use A sadly, because it is what is expected.
But what if I used B? What if I told this person that I'm actually not doing quite well, and that I'm going through some very deep personal problems with my lifestyle and life decisions? Do you think that other person would lend an ear in empathy? Or would they run with their metaphorical tail between their legs?
Who knows? I know I never will.
I think this is just one of those social things that everyone else gets and I'm still questioning.
3 comments:
My rule - - If it's not a pretty good friend, I stick with "fine, how are you?" or "okay, just stressed with school,(or whatever)." and let it go at that. However, if it is someone I know well, good friends, family - - I would say "good" if that was the truth, but I would also feel free to say,to friends,"well do you want the politically correct answer, or the truth!?" Then I tell them how things are, but not in too much detail. With family - another story! To those I am closest to, I say, "okay, you asked, you might want to sit down for this!" People who care about you and love you want to listen and help. It helps if you tell them up front that you only want them to listen,not give advice or that you DO want advice. Not saying this is right or wrong, just the way I look at it.
i usually go with the more of a meh, to decent more of the cup half empty look on medium... trying to see if they actually are paying attention and pick up that everything is not always 'peachy'
I think that it's fine to say I'm doing okay... if you just don't want to talk that day. But usually if someone says just "okay" i can hear the uncertainty in their voice and know that it isn't the truth. however, sometimes i don't probe about the uncertainty i hear b/c i don't know if it is something that the person wants to discuss. Usually it is safe to wait and see if they say something and then i go from there... to people i am close with though, i usually feel pretty safe to say what's really going on
Post a Comment