Saturday, May 10, 2014

him

anxiety, curiosity, and doubt
mingle in my heart and mind,
not necessarily in that order,
on my first date since he died.

trying not to think of him
for the sake of my date,
but feeling guilty for doing so,
nonetheless.

the pain is mostly latent now,
like scar tissue, remnants
of a period of deep,
personal, despair.

i tell myself this is the first step,
to healing and getting better.
i'm hopeful for a new future,
but also regretful, all at once.

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