cocktail

i've come to despise the winter,
how the clouds darken
shortly after i'm released
from the daily monotony of my job.

i return home, yet it is not one
bustling with laughter of children,
nor of a warm meal to share,
or the closeness of another.

i collapse on the couch as the
wind howls its way inside,
the technicolor flicker of my tv
the only noteworthy stimulus.

crushing them all up,
prozac, paxil, zoloft,
swirling the powder
into a glass of whiskey.

i succumb to the numbness,
let it wash over me
just like the howling wind,
a soundtrack of my life,
in what i'm hoping is just a single.