incoherence

more than anything i miss being a child. i miss believing in santa claus and the tooth fairy. i miss being ignorant.

when the magic leaves your life, and you realize how cold and cruel the world can be, things start to change. your outlook on life starts to warp.

there are no miracles, only coincidences. good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. things happen for no reason.

the fact of the matter is most people live incredibly boring lives. they do nothing of real importance, nothing that affects a large scale of people, and then they die. that's why so many people cling to ideals like family, to give their lives some shred of meaning.

others are married to their work, to their visions. i have no such thing to live for. not right now.

all i have right now is the knowledge that, like most people, i am vastly insignificant. in a hundred year's time my existence will have meant nothing, like most people. what i do today and how i approach tomorrow, therefore, are only for my benefit, for how i choose to live my life.

life is too short for me to feel this way. a change is needed. one only i can supply. the only question, then, is whether or not i will.