i've contemplated it,
though there's nothing
to gain from vanishing
and never coming back.

i do it mostly to imagine
the look on your face,
the perplexity of emotion
at discovering i'm gone.

of course, i don't,
because i don't want to,
for myself, and you,
and our future together.

but i still think about it.
heading out the back door
while you're walking the dog
never to see you again.