forgiveness can be so hard
with such a heavy price,
so i turn the other way
and bid another future adieu.
i've lost count how many times
this sinking feeling has emerged,
slowly unraveling the threads
holding my patchwork heart together.
i wonder if i'm the cause
since after all this time,
the common denominators
are my bad decisions - repeated.
to refuse what is good for me
time and time again,
in favor of something familiar
like pain and sorrow and despair.
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