even now

even now, i enjoy the smile
that has changed so much,
yet somehow looks the same
as the day you were born.

i still can't resist you,
even though i try.
and gone are the days
when tickling actually worked.

seeing you hurt, inside or out,
is in some ways more painful
than feeling pain myself,
or having my own heart broken.

even now, as a grown woman,
with your head in my lap
and tears on your cheeks,
i love being your father.