13 out of 43

the odds she had to live,
30 chances not to die.
i spin the roulette wheel,
and watch it land on death.

she had asked me,
"if i have to get up,
will you carry me,
in the middle of the night?"

and i said yes to that,
and to many other things
that she could not do on her own,
for lack of functioning legs.

"and if i die?" she asked,
with tears streaming down her face.
to which i had no reply,
but to hold her close.

a delicate, red poppy,
sprouting in the snow.
a tear runs down my cheek,
it was one of the 13.