Every morning she would send me an e-mail with something sweet and kind to say. I started every day of my life like that for five long years. One day, when I received no e-mail, I knew she was gone forever. I didn't stop to think she was ill, or forgot - I knew she never would, and even if she was near death she would find a way to send me one. I never knew she was terminally ill until after she died - a fact that she hid from me for my sake. It made her death sudden, abrupt, shocking, and heart-wrenching. There are so many things I wanted to share with her, so many things I should have told her - how great of a person she is, always giving to others, always loving her family. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but never got the courage. There is a permanent stain on my heart where she will reside forever, even if I move on and find another love. She is my constant reminder that no matter who we end up with in this world, that we should take advantage of our time with them.

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I am uncertain whether you are in heaven now or capable to reading this, but if you are then know that I always wished you the greatest of happiness.