a single leg hangs
over the side of the recliner,
dangling -- back and forth --
in sync with the grandfather's pendulum.

ticking down the minutes,
until the pain finally stops,
his face fades from memory
and her heart begins to mend.

a blank face and unblinking eyes
gaze transfixed at her
out-of-focus leg, going back and forth,
before she falls asleep.

staring out the fifty-fourth floor window
of a tokyo skyscraper as the rain fell
and wet the streets and people below,
she pondered what would come next.

the only light a small lamp,
sitting on her office desk,
offering just enough of itself
to faintly reflect her melancholic expression.

how small my own problems seem,
compared to the dilemma she faces.
how silly were my trials of yesterday
when juxtaposed with hers.

my confession

the temptation was too great and,
knowing the consequences,
i proceeded to do it anyway,
succumbing like only a weak will can.

i devoured everything in sight
and overturned rocks
to try and glimpse just a peek
behind the curtains.

what i saw now horrifies me,
haunts me with images and
plagues my waking moments
with what was better left unknown.

the aftermath has been brutal,
rocking my emotional foundations
and leaving me doubting my life,
where previously there had been only certainty.

when i needed you

here i am, when i need you most,
and you are nowhere to be found,
silent and incognito --
deaf to the pleas i'm screaming.

this might be another time too many,
the one that ends it all for me,
sends me spiraling downward
into a deeper pit of despair.

if only, is what you'll say,
if only you made the time,
if only you had realized then,
all i wanted was to talk.

the others

you had so many others before me,
who treated you like a simple fuck,
some fun to pass the time,
and i guess it hurts you felt the same.

it means so much more to me,
the connection, the intimacy.
but you lay on your back for them,
even when you knew it meant nothing.

it wasn't that you were cheating
in those years before you knew me,
and yet i can't help but picture
the lust you held for the others.

it hurts more than you'll ever know.

vultures

they surround you on your death bed,
like vultures, circling above and
hovering -- ever hovering,
waiting to swoop in for the kill.

spouses and children,
their children and so on,
each additional one
serving as another grim reaper.

even in the midst of it all
they think of themselves,
their own mortality,
when they look into your eyes.

two words

it's actually kind of funny,
how two words saved your life,
kept me from finding where you live,
and putting an end to your life.

for make no mistake about it,
if only i knew them,
i'd track you down
like the dog you are.

i might opt for harassment first,
slashing your tires, or perhaps,
making your life a living hell,
before revealing myself - the one behind it all.

oh yes, i would become a gun owner
and make weekend trips
to the shooting range --
if only i knew your name.