what is more important -
the past, or the future?
what has taken place,
or what has yet to occur?

on the one hand,
the past is magical -
a point of comparison
we try to live up to.

but the future,
that is unknown to all.
life can change in minutes
and it inevitably will.

a sudden death in the family,
or results from a pregnancy test.
a phone call from an old friend,
or a life-shattering accident.

the past we have no control of,
it is hieroglyphics in stone,
only to be interpreted
by people of the future.

and what of the future -
that amorphous creature?
it is all of ours to create
and then forget and call the past.

wielding their words,
writers exist to write.
brandishing their fists,
fighters exist to fight.
even in ancient times,
peasants existed to work.
a stab in the back,
Judas existed to lurk.
looking to the sky,
dreamers exist to try.
while some people in general,
exist to tell you lies.
just before their death,
elders exist to give advice:
"the world is sinful,
with devils existing to entice."
soaring through the air,
birds exist to fly.
and me, you ask?
why, I exist to die.

the date was set
in cold, thick stone,
carved with a scalpel
like heart surgery.

breathing deeper now
as it approaches near,
heart thumps faster,
a battle drum before war.

the future is blank
and our pens will fill it,
if only - if only,
things always went our way.

i open boxes.
that's all i do - all day long,
is open boxes.

but i find interesting things,
like 1950s tennis shoes
and aborted babies.

i won't say it's the best,
opening boxes all day long,
but it gets me by.

what really gets me, though,
is how poorly wrapped some are,
with torn edges and sides.

a bad box can't support shoes,
much less a baby; but I smile,
as i take care of mine.

A video of horrible quality made at 1 a.m.

(read beneath the surface)

there are two kinds of people in this world,
those that do things on time,
and those that wait until the last minute,
lest the world end before its due.
because after all -
what's the point of doing it,
if the world ends
and all your work is for naught?

they say procrastinating is a bad thing,
but some may see it as living
and enjoying what we have,
whereas all the hard workers
are always one step ahead,
and closer to their death.

the history

i started writing poetry for someone,
then i kept on writing it for myself.
after a while i wrote about others,
but then came back to myself.

then suddenly - i quit
when someone disappeared.
but a stranger said 'what a pity,'
so i started writing again.

then i wrote about someone else,
for a little while anyway,
before completing a full circle
and coming back to myself.

i've written about deaths,
suicides, love and heartache.
i've written while happy
and also indescribably sad.

but i've written - written it all,
about someone or myself,
with only the truest intention -
of trying to connect myself to others.

merry christmas to all, and to all a delusion

what is the holiday season besides a mechanism for the american corporate engines to use in order to exploit a heightened sense of materialism in the public?

jcpenny, zales, and many others offer us touching commercials of people giving gifts, diamonds and cars. on the surface we see the spirit of the holidays: giving and sharing with those we love. underlying it all is just another problem with america - we buy, buy, buy.

it isn't to say other countries don't do the same, or that i don't condone buying things for others this holiday season. i'll be receiving gifts like many other people, and in may i'll be going overseas in a trip that costs thousands of dollars - none of which are my own.

but why do we have to buy things to show our love? why does it take new HDTVs, video game systems, diamond rings or a new acura to make your spouse or child smile? is it because we as a nation don't know how else to arouse our long-lasting relationships other than to commit ourselves to a materialistic model of love?

or maybe i'm looking too much into it. maybe the holidays is just a time for all those people who work all year to relax and get free stuff from others. but consider this: when christmas (or hanukkah, or whatever holiday one might celebrate) leads into new year's day, and the tree comes down, and the ornaments are packed away, and the garland is stored in large plastic boxes, and the lights are painstakingly taken off your front porch or roof, and we all go back to our lives, will you still be happy?

the first week in january, maybe the 3rd or the 4th, just after you break that resolution of losing weight by eating leftover christmas cookies or failing to do your morning jog, will you still make those around you happy? can you do that without giving them stuff?

enjoy this holiday season and enjoy the gifts you give and/or receive. but don't think that it's all about giving and receiving. i'd like to quash this concept. the entire year should be spent giving and receiving.

give in the middle of march, or the end of the summer, or a week before someone's birthday. give post-it notes that say i love you, or a single flower instead of a bouquet. give a hug to a friend, and when they ask why, remind them. call your parents or your grandparents to say thank you. call your brothers or sister (blood related or not) and see how they're doing. why wait until the holiday season to spend time with family?

december is just another month on the calendar. just because we buy big trees and wrap up presents doesn't mean we can't carry its central theme with us throughout the year.

the genie

while throwing out the trash
i found an antique lamp.
it was small, with a handle
and a long, thin spout.
it was much to my surprise,
when a genie popped out.

"make three wishes," said he,
so I did, and said thusly:
"first, i want to know -
the things i'll regret when i'm old,
so i can do them now
and die a happy man.

"second, i want to know -
once again as an old man,
who i regret not saying
'i love you' to,
so i can rush up to them today
and hug them as a friend.

"and your third?" asked he.
i didn't know, so i asked to save it.
"nay, you must use it now," said he.
so I did, and wished thusly:
"i wish for a thick pair of socks," said i,
"for i have no one in the winter to keep me warm."[1]

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1 This doesn't just mean physically.